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    How to Be a Better Man in Every Facet of Life

    You know the drill: Move more, eat your greens, and take it easy on the booze. For 2021, we wanted to give you a better blueprint to become a well-rounded man where it counts—’cus at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter how many pushups you can do.

    Here’s how to develop a stronger mental fortitude, be a more engaged citizen, a better partner, and stop blowing your lid with simple steps on conquering conflict. In short, this is your guide on achieving peace of mind this year (and beyond).

    Expert Tips on Becoming a Better Man in Every Facet of Life
    1. How to Overcome Mental and Physical Adversity When You Want to Give Up
    Adventure racer Jason Magness attests that certain wilderness survival skills are applicable to the everyman, too. You might not be faced with extreme physical stress or life-threatening conditions, but these tips will serve you just the same.
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    2. How to Make Your Great (Socially Distanced) Escape
    The best places to visit in 2021 are remote locales across America. Thanks to COVID-19, we saw the return of the great American road trip. Here, we highlight where to go to get away from it all.
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    3. How to Argue Better and Cope With Conflict—Without Losing Your Cool
    Perhaps you had a few conversations in the past year you regret. Maybe your friend, neighbor, or family member went apocalyptic, and you matched the intensity. Rosalie Puiman, leadership coach and author of The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution, says that doesn’t have to be the case.
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    4. How to Break the Barrier to Therapy
    Not comfortable talking about yourself? Like to learn from listening and observing others? Currently missing that feeling of community support? Group therapy may be the most approachable form of talk therapy for you then, says Rachel Kazez, therapist and founder of All Along, a consulting firm that pairs people with therapists. Without any of the personal pressure, it’s like having a beer with your buddies, except some people talk about their feelings.
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    5. How to Build Intimacy in Your Relationship and Be a Better Partner
    If months of working, eating, breathing, and spiraling into pits of despair with your partner has left you feeling more like roommates than lovers, you might need to zero in on your intimacy, says Dana McNeil, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of The Relationship Place. These tips will help you hone your sexual and emotional intimacy.
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    6. How to Get Smarter and Be a More Informed Citizen
    With each year, your habits, beliefs, hell, even your vocabulary can seem to grow stagnant. But with a little effort, you can keep your mind malleable, get smarter, and be a more informed citizen. Try these strategies and apps.
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    7. How to Be More Efficient With Your Time and Energy
    People are apt to dawdle away gained time. It takes a lot of work to be efficient with your time and energy. “The biggest mistake is not having a plan,” says Craig Jarrow, founder of Time Management Ninja. Consider this yours.
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    Tips on Overcoming Mental and Physical Adversity

    Adventure racer Jason Magness attests that certain wilderness survival skills are applicable to the everyman, too. You might not be faced with extreme physical stress or life-threatening conditions, but these tips will serve you just the same should you need to overcome adversity.

    Tips on Overcoming Mental and Physical Adversity
    1. Lean Into Discomfort
    “Once you get comfortable with being uncomfortable, you open up your possibilities,” Magness says. “Often we react too early and rob ourselves of an opportunity to grow and adapt.” Instead of quitting and reacting rashly, give yourself a block of time—like 24 hours—to process if you’re really hitting your limit, or if you can persevere. The time period itself is arbitrary. It just acts as a structured mechanism to allow your mind and body to process the circumstances and determine your limits.

    2. Celebrate Small Successes
    “You have to see yourself winning,” Magness says. When he does group adventure races, he and his team set tiny goals so they have a steady stream of successes. If you drop out when things get hard, you set a neurological pattern. But if your default is to hone in on small checkpoints, then that makes a daunting project, situation, or event seem doable. It becomes a driving mental force that makes you unstoppable. With each new accomplishment, you set the expectation that you’ll find a way to finish the overall endeavor.

    3. Write Your Own Epic
    In any hero’s tale, people overcome overwhelming odds. Look at obstacles as part of your character development. “When I survive something, I let it become larger than life in my mind. Those are the moments you want to imprint on your soul. It’s empowering to choose your own narrative.” You can go over a mountain or around a mountain, but no matter the outcome you keep moving forward.”

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    How to Argue Better and Cope With Conflict—Without Losing Your Cool

    Perhaps you had a few conversations in the past year you regret. Maybe your friend, neighbor, or family member went apocalyptic, and you matched the intensity. Rosalie Puiman, leadership coach and author of The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution, says that doesn’t have to be the case. Here are her top tips on how to argue better and cope with conflict.

    1. Drop Your Ego
    “If you’re having a tough discussion, especially around politics—and you want to be constructive—let go of the old paradigm of winning and losing,” Puiman says. Don’t argue to win, but rather to explore the intricacies of another person’s perspective. Shifting the narrative lowers the stakes.
    2. Be Curious
    “A great way in is to ask what the other person’s experiences have been. Be sincere, and share yours, too.” When you disclose something personal and make yourself vulnerable, it can make a divisive topic feel like less of a debate on moral mandates of right and wrong.

    3. Tap Into Unsaid Emotions
    Polarizing issues can automatically trigger anxiety and defensiveness. “The other person might be scared, angry, hurt, or they don’t feel seen. Identify that and say: ‘Wow, I sense so much pain in your words.’ ” Empathy can steer dialogue into neutral territory.

    4. Know When to Walk
    It’s okay to cut bait when things aren’t going well. “Say, ‘I think we’re touching on subjects we absolutely disagree on, and I don’t think it’s helpful to our relationship if we continue this.’ ” Changing the topic isn’t copping out.
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    Why Group Therapy May Be the Best Type of Therapy for Men

    By now, every guy knows that talking about the things you’re going through—be it a divorce, job loss, or plain ol’ unexplainable anxiety—can help with processing emotions. But that doesn’t have to look like chatting one-on-one from a couch: Group therapy is a great option for men who aren’t comfortable talking about themselves, who like to learn from listening and observing others, or who are currently missing that feeling of community support, says Rachel Kazez, therapist and founder of All Along, a consulting firm that pairs people with therapists. Group therapy may be the most approachable form of talk therapy. Without any of the personal pressure, it’s like having a beer with your buddies, except some people talk about their feelings.

    These days, group support often looks like anywhere from four to 15 people (all men, if you like) hopping on a Zoom call, talking through current struggles and recent wins. These sessions are usually led by a licensed counselor or therapist, and there’s no need to share if you don’t want to. But many people find that watching others work through hardships helps them figure out their own tribulations, Kazez says.

    She adds that if you’re looking to process a specific trauma or want a place where you can talk non-stop, then personal sessions might be more beneficial. But a group can act as a bridge if you’re not quite ready to divulge your biggest qualms one-on-one yet. (Bonus: It’s usually cheaper, too.)

    Of course, it’s all about finding the right one, Kazez adds. The attendees and leaders set the tone, so shop around until you find a good fit.
    Illustration of men in group therapy Illustration by Kagan McLeod
    There are great virtual sessions offered by online platforms like EVRYMAN and Hims & Hers. If you want the option to meet in person, ask local clinics or therapists about groups currently meeting remotely. Don’t know where to start? Tap a service like Kazez’s All Along or MyWellbeing, which emails personalized matches, to help you navigate and narrow down the possibilities.
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    How to Get Smarter and Be a More Informed Citizen

    With each year, your habits, beliefs, hell, even your vocabulary can seem to grow stagnant. But with a little effort, you can keep your mind malleable, get smarter, and be a more informed citizen. Try these strategies and apps.

    Expert Ways to Get Smarter and Be More Engaged Citizen
    1. Break Out of Your Bubble
    “We’ve become strangers to each other in sadly dangerous ways,” says learning and development consultant Paula Green. “Set aside time to talk to someone who voted differently or who lives a different lifestyle from you, and really listen. Ask them, ‘What’s important to you?’ Be curious, not cajoling. You might find that your needs are not that different from theirs.”

    2. Volunteer
    Lend your energy and expertise to those who need it, and you’ll pull back the curtain on a different slice of life—and feel valued for your efforts. Luckily, it’s easier than ever to find a volunteer opportunity that suits your availability and expertise: Peruse sites like VolunteerMatch, Catchafire, and HandsOn Connect.
    Illustration of a man reading on subway Illustration by Kagan McLeod

    3. Keep Learning
    Your dorm days might be in the rear view, but that doesn’t mean you need to rely on a stash of edibles for mind expansion. Thousands of college courses are available for free online—including over 500 from Ivy League schools like Harvard, Cornell, and Princeton. Whether you’re looking to learn coding, go deep on Bitcoin, or tackle Shakespeare again, you’ll likely find a lesson plan for you. Bonus: Most are self-guided and taught virtually. To narrow down the offerings, use Class Central.

    4. SHARPEN YOUR SCREEN TIME
    Stop the mindless scrolling and bolster your brain with this trio of apps: Climb makes it easy to expand your vocabulary via fun, personalized quizzes with clues that include animated GIFs. Lumosity trains your brain through memory, multitasking, and focus challenges, sharpening skills that have real-world applications. And Memrise is like TikTok for learning a second language. Instead of memorizing awkward, outdated textbook phrases, you learn common phrases and slang from native speakers in snack-size videos.
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    How to Be More Efficient With Your Time and Energy

    Remember in March when we thought that working from home would give us the opportunity to learn an instrument, get super fit, or renovate the basement? Yeah…most people are apt to dawdle away gained time. It takes a lot of work to be efficient with your time and energy.

    “The biggest mistake is not having a plan,” says Craig Jarrow, founder of Time Management Ninja. The foundation of time management is a to-do list. That’s not some 50-task monster checklist. Every day, try to home in on your top five priorities.
    “What stops people from being productive isn’t that they’re not doing enough, it’s that they’re trying to do too much,” says productivity coach Grace Marshall, author of How to Be Really Productive. Instead of giving anything 100 percent, you’re giving everything 10 percent.

    A paper to-do list is super visible, and gives you the satisfaction of crossing things off, says Jarrow. “But apps have superpowers paper does not.” Apple’s Things app lets you create individual tasks (like errands), or larger projects with sub-tasks (like vacation planning), and assign deadlines; then it integrates your calendar to show you what’s on deck.
    Illustration of man juggling fitness, cooking, hobbies, work, and relationships Illustration by Kagan McLeod
    Just note, “if you overestimate how much you can get done in a day, you can under-estimate how much you can do in a year,” says Marshall. That’s how fitness, self-care, and time with friends and family fall by the wayside. Plan for those up front by scheduling vacation time in the beginning of the year, or penciling in workouts every other day.

    “People see stopping in the moment as a waste of time, but making space for these things over the course of the year actually makes you more productive, because it prevents burnout,” Marshall explains.
    It can also make you more accountable. Maybe you have a coworker you check in with every morning to share your plan for the day, or a running buddy you text every time you pound the pavement. Even a free app like Habit List can track healthy behaviors (like reading daily) so you can build momentum and get that same sense of accomplishment as crossing something off a to-do list.

    The most important thing: Stop living in your email, says Jarrow. Tools like SaneBox can filter your inbox so you stop experiencing that Pavlovian response to react to every single notification the second it pings. “
    Try only checking it three times a day,” he says. You’ll be shocked how quickly you forget what it’s like to be chained to that “new message” alert.

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    5 Ways to Be Happier Now, According to a Life Coach

    In the pursuit of happiness Austin, Texas, life coach Bryan Daigle helps people see big life changes more clearly—from career jumps to relationship overhauls. Here’s some of his sage advice—free of charge.

    How to Chase the Pursuit of Happiness
    1. IDENTIFY YOUR MOTIVATION FOR CHANGE
    “There are two types of energy,” Daigle says. “The energy to move away from something, and the energy to move toward something else.” Say you want to relocate across the country because your wife just filed for divorce. Is this a catalyst for change you’ve been too complacent to act on, or are you running away?

    2. KNOW IT’S NEVER TOO LATE
    “You’re capable of more change than you think, but that voice in your head inspiring a revolution will get only quieter the more you suppress it.” Heed that internal monologue, and don’t shy from shifting gears. Give yourself permission to ditch your current track to pursue your real passion, or reconnect with someone with whom you’ve lost touch.
    3. THINK BACK FROM YOUR FUTURE
    Not to get too morbid, but think about your life from your deathbed. “What decisions will you be most proud of? What will you wish you had done? What things seem so important now that are actually inconsequential?” This can shuffle your priorities in a big way.

    4. NAME YOUR EMOTIONS
    Fear is one of the biggest roadblocks to change. “By naming it and putting it in front of you, it can’t sabotage you from behind. Afraid of not making as much money in a new career? Say it out loud, then you can assess it.”
    5. STEP OUTSIDE YOURSELF
    When making a big decision, you want to be in the right frame of mind. “Sometimes that means going into nature or embarking on a road trip. Find something that grounds you, so you’re not coming from a place of high emotionality.”

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    Bryson DeChambeau Invests in Mark Wahlberg's Supp Company, Performance Inspired

    You could say Mark Wahlberg’s most at home when he’s training. His inner drive is genetic and by some standards borderline obsessive—but that’s why the man’s so successful. He previously spoke with Men’s Journal about his daily routine, saying “breakfast is at 3:45 a.m., by 4 I’m training, 5 a.m. is prayers, and I’m golfing at 6.” So it was only natural for him to make a personal venture into supplements. Enter Performance Inspired.
    After all, what better way to maximize recovery and gains than to have a direct hand in optimizing pre-workouts, BCAAs, creatine, and bars? From the beginning, Wahlberg adopted a startup mentality, hustling to research the competition and reaching out to distributors (you can read all about his journey into the supplement biz here). His partner, Tom Dowd, worked at GNC for 25 years and was involved with an exhaustive range of product development. His know-how and Wahlberg’s determination to provide clean, natural products to everyone from student athletes to weekend warriors made PI a success.

    Now, they’re welcoming a new ownership union with pro golfer Bryson DeChambeau. He’ll take an active leadership role in shaping PI’s line of products and work with Wahlberg to inspire others to lead healthier lifestyles through fitness and nutrition. (We foresee many brainstorms happening over a round of golf.)
    “The PI team created a full line of all-natural, clean products you can trust and their commitment to quality is what drew me to their products,” DeChambeau said in a press release. “I look forward to helping them develop more products and introducing healthy options to the golf and fitness community. Everyone is looking for healthy options on the course and at home, and I can’t wait to help inspire others to improve their golf fitness and their overall health, the right way!”

    The hope is to develop a “Golf Fitness” strategy largely influenced by DeChambeau. (If you’ve been following his 40-pound bulk-up, you know why.) DeChambeau’s been creating a buzz ever since he beefed up—prioritizing strength, flexibility, and nutrition—and started driving the ball, on average, 322 yards. He finished the 2020 PGA Tour season as the longest hitter in the history of professional golf. If it seems like DeChambeau and Wahlberg are a match made in heaven, that’s because they are.

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